Even I don't always agree with my opinion


Am I Allowed To Say This…?

Posted March 16, 2014 by jim young in Lifestyle

You say tomato, I say tomato… – George & Ira Gershwin

– jim young

Speaking of her music video “Can’t Remember To Forget You” with Rihanna, Shakira recently announced that her boyfriend, soccer star Girard Piqué no longer lets her do videos with men.

And while Shakira is okay with that, stating that “I like that he protects his turf and he values me…” fans, feminists and fanatics alike are not so comfortable with it.

Accusing Piqué of being a jealous jerk, psychopath and control freak, who will one day stalk or even physically harm Shakira, these people would rather see Shakira alone and miserable than in, for all we know, what is a very loving and caring relationship.

Even marriage or relationship counselors tend to get their backs up the minute they hear that one partner in any relationship is not “allowed” to do something.

What they should be more concerned with is what the person means when they say “I am not allowed to…”

For example, the simple truth is “my wife does not allow me to have sex with other women” (which I like, by the way.)

And I would suggest that there are millions of men and women alike in my situation that are in very healthy relationships.

My wife may not be able to physically prevent me from having sex with another woman.
And it is certainly my free choice whether or not to have sex with another woman.

But “It’s more than implied in our relationship that I can’t” have sex with other women “like I used to.”

And if I did choose to have sex with another woman, my life would quickly become very unpleasant for me. (Let’s just gloss over whether or not I could actually find another woman willing to have sex with me.)

According to how most of the liberal world thinks, even in these circumstances “I’m not allowed to suggest that I’m not allowed to have sex with another woman.”

The more politically correct response would be, “Because I love and honour my wife I would choose not to disrespect her by having sex with another woman.”

What that boils down to is I am “allowed” to do pretty much anything I want to, provided it doesn’t displease my wife.

But it’s a little more complicated than just that.

The amount of displeasure anything I do brings my wife is also part of the equation.

Leaving the toilet seat up, for example, also displeases my wife albeit to a much lesser degree than having sex with another woman would.

I seriously doubt my wife would choose to end our relationship if I always left the toilet seat up.

And although I have never tested this theory, there is no doubt in my mind that my wife would end our relationship if I was to have sex with another woman.

Would it be fair then to suggest that I am “allowed” to leave the toilet seat up but I am not “allowed” to have sex with another woman?

Does that make my wife a control freak like Girard Piqué?

It’s pretty easy to claim that you are “allowed” to do anything you want so long as you never intend to do the things you’re not really “allowed” to do anyway.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “Allow” as “to regard or treat something as acceptable”.

Within the boundaries of my relationship with my wife, it is not acceptable for me to have sex with another woman.

Within the boundaries of Shakira’s relationship with Girard Piqué, it is not acceptable for her to perform in videos with other men.

We all set our own boundaries within our relationships.

For the record, I neither leave the toilet seat up nor have sex with other women and I’m okay with that.

– 30 –




Be the first to comment!

Leave a Response