Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can’t come. – Michael, The Big Chill.

On Thanksgiving weekend in 2002 I delivered a eulogy for my mother.

All of my family that were able to be there, were there to witness this eulogy – including my mother.

In fact I am happy to say that my mother is still alive to this day and I will have the privilege of wishing her a Happy Mother’s Day one more time.

But 11 years ago I decided to deliver the eulogy that I will one day deliver for my mother at her funeral. (Provided I outlive her of course.)

I thought Thanksgiving was an appropriate time to deliver it the first time however since, like most children, I am very thankful for my mother.

A eulogy generally provides a person the opportunity to tell the deceased’s loved ones how they feel about the deceased but of course it’s too late for the deceased to hear it.

I have no doubt my mother knows how I feel about her, how much respect and love I have for her and how grateful I am to have been born to her.

But it had occurred to me that my mother might be interested in hearing her own eulogy – live – if you will excuse the pun.

And while I will one day share these thoughts once again with my mother’s surviving family and friends at her funeral, as Mother’s Day approaches I would like to take this opportunity to share these sentiments with the entire world through the communicative power of the internet.

M – is for mother
O – is for always
M – is for mother

and that spells “Mom” – at least it does if you can accept that the sentiment is more important than the spelling.

My mother was born on March 25 1928 and was given the name Margaret Janet Dickson Chalmers.

And from that moment on, she claimed she lost her individual identity and was known primarily as Alf & Bunty’s daughter. When Mom married Dad on February 7, 1948, she quickly became known in Stroud as George Young’s wife. And when her first 2 daughters entered school, Mom’s identity changed to Kathy and Leah’s mom, then Jim and Lennie’s mom, and finally, Gina and Lori’s mom.

Of course that identity eventually changed too, to Greg and Brad’s Gaga, Kelly and Kory’s Gaga, Mike and Ange’s Gaga, Di-Anne and Paul’s Gaga, Ryan and Jesse’s Gaga and Zachary’s Gaga.

By the time the great grandchildren started to arrive, Mom’s identity was simplified to just Gogs.

Mom’s obituary will read, in part, Mother to Kathy French, the late Leah Neely, Jim Young, Lennie Patterson, Gina Young and Lori McColman.

But that’s not really accurate. My mother was “Mom” to many, many others.

As the oldest sister in her family, I’m certain my mother often played the role of Mom to her siblings, Uncle Sonny, Aunt Mickey and Uncle Jackie.

And as many loving wives do, Mom was often called upon to perform motherly duties for Dad as well. In times of need she was there also for the rest of her extended family – cousins, nieces, nephews and in-laws.

When my sisters and I started to bring friends home, Mom became surrogate mother to each and every one of them as well – laughing at our jokes and crying with us through our times of sorrow; dancing with us; joining in our games and in general – being just part of the gang – always there to lend an ear and at least pretended to hear whatever we would choose to share with her.

But it didn’t end there. Mom continued her role as surrogate mother for our children’s friends as well. And those of her who didn’t refer to her as Mom, often called her by her other identity – Gogs.

A mother is someone who bears offspring. But a Mom is someone who will love you unconditionally, in spite of all your short-comings because she chooses to acknowledge only your strengths.

Mom really did have her own identity after all – she was what she loved to be best – Mom!

- 30 -

I am stuck on the Band-Aid Brand, ‘cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me. – Barry Manilow

Boston got a boo-boo.

It was a big mother-fucking boo-boo mind you, and all Prime Minister Harper can suggest is to put a Band-Aid on it.

Not that a Band-Aid isn’t needed.

Just as a young child needs a mother’s hug and kiss after the application of the Band-Aid, Boston – and more specifically the victims of last week’s tragedy at the Boston Marathon, need all the compassion, sympathy and love that we can muster.

But once the Band-Aid has been applied and the hugs and kisses have soothed the tears, the mother will search out the source of her child’s boo-boo and eliminate it to prevent it from happening again.

If her child’s boo-boo is the result of a broken piece of glass in the backyard, it may be as simple as disposing of the glass. But the prudent mother will likely also want to know how the glass got there in the first place and who was responsible for it being left there.

Apparently Prime Minister Harper is content to go about his business once the Band-Aid has been applied.

And worse – he would ridicule the mother for her further action just as he makes fun of Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau for his suggestion that we try to find out what it is that makes a terrorist commit these crimes.

The Conservative Party seems to have made an assumption that because Trudeau is interested in the root cause, he had no compassion for the victims.

That’s quite a leap if you ask me.

Harper seems to prefer a tunnel vision approach to global problems such as terrorism. But that will do nothing to ensure the safety of our country and the world around us.

Trudeau on the other hand seems to be forward looking and taking a more pro-active approach.

Which action would you rather have the leader of our country take?

But what’s even worse is that Harper and the Conservative Party have taken the opportunity to use this misguided interpretation of Trudeau’s comments as part of their negative smear campaign against Trudeau.

And if Harper is that quick to use the tragedy in Boston for his own political gain I cannot help but question the sincerity of his compassion for the victims in the first place.

Whether Trudeau has the qualities to make a good leader or not remains to be seen.

But let’s hope that it takes more than the Conservative Party’s negative campaign to put it to the test.

Obviously the Conservatives have their own agenda and are not above using even the tragic events in Boston to further their cause.

And that’s just not right.

- 30 -

A real man would never get a girl drunk just to get what’s on the other side of her clothes… – Raul Vasequez

- jim young

Everyone wants a fuck-buddy.

Well, almost everyone.

And what’s wrong with that, really?

Sometimes it’s just nice to have an uncomplicated, none-emotional romp in the hay with no strings attached.

Of course by definition, a fuck-buddy implies that the sex is consensual.

What some people need – mostly young girls – is an “un-fuck buddy”.

Someone she trusts to look out for her when her defences are down.

It seems to be coming more and more common that young girls just out for a good time at a party, have too much to drink and are taken advantage of by some of their fellow party-mates who may or may not even be known to them.

Of course by definition – that’s rape. And yet the mindset among many young people seems to suggest it’s much less serious than that. It’s too often viewed as just having a good time.

And for whatever reasons, these incidents often go unreported.

Perhaps the victim is too embarrassed to report the incident to the authorities. Or perhaps she feels that the resulting investigation would be more humiliating than if she just tried to put the incident behind her. There may be fear of repercussions and far too often the victim may feel that she is somehow to blame.

Of course the easy answer is to suggest to these young girls that she simply shouldn’t drink so much to put herself in such a vulnerable position in the first place.

But let’s face it that’s just not going to happen.

So maybe the next best thing is to have an “un-fuck buddy”.

Someone she trusts implicitly to look out for her best interests when her defences are down and she is too inebriated to fend for herself

But let’s not limit this concept to a defensive action.

The guys in these situations need to man-up to their responsibilities too.

So maybe they should have an “un-fuck buddy” as well.

You know – someone that will step in when situations start to get out of control and say “Hey dude – this is not cool!”

I believe for the most part that all people are good at the core. But when hormones and pheromones get mixed with alcohol and drugs, sometimes lines get crossed.

That is not intended to diminish the responsibility or seriousness of these crimes – but there’s an old saying that goes – “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”.

Get your ounce of prevention with an “un-fuck buddy”.

- 30 -

“I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy.” – Bob Marley

Helena Guergis has been ordered to pay court costs incurred by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, The Conservative Party former Chief of Justice Guy Giorno and several other cabinet ministers and staff for her failed attempt to sue them last year for wrongful dismissal citing conspiracy by Harper and his posse.

It was a frivolous lawsuit at best and one has to suspect that perhaps Guergis was acting against her legal counsel’s better judgement in pursuing the lawsuit in the first place.

It certainly wouldn’t be out of character for Guergis to act out as if she is a member of some “privileged elite” that is above the rules that the rest of us might be expected to live by.

What bothers me about this ruling is that the defendants of the lawsuit had asked for $228,000 in damages but were only awarded $118,560.

Why the $109,440 discrepancy?

It wasn’t because the Prime Minster et al padded their costs.

Instead Justice Charles T. Hackland ruled “costs would not be payable to multiple counsel putting forward an identical position”.

Huh? I don’t get that.

While Helena Guergis may continue an infinite pattern of stupid behavior, surely there are only a finite number of ways to demonstrate her stupidity for any given act.

So if each defense required legal counsel to demonstrate The Guergis’ Stupidity factor then surely there is going to be an overlap.

What would have happened if Harper had told HIS lawyer that he was only paying a portion of his fees because Giorno’s lawyer was using the same defense?

If I shoot the sheriff and then use as my defense that I shot the deputy – would I only have to pay my defense lawyer a portion of his fees because Bob Marley thought of that defense first?

Judge Hackland is only contributing to Helena Guergis’ delusions of belonging to a class of privileged elite.

- 30 -

Stompin’ Tom Connors recorded 48 albums in his lifetime, which lasted from 1936 to 2013.

And that’s not counting the 10 albums of unreleased material that he left behind.

To put that into perspective (even without the unreleased material), that’s about 4 times more albums than the Beatles released, 4 times more than Michael Jackson released and 4 times more than The Band released during their lifetimes.

It’s almost as many as Frank Sinatra, more than Anne Murray, more than Gordon Lightfoot, more than the Guess Who, more than The Who, more than Led Zeppelin, more than Bruce Springsteen, and more than even Bob Dylan.

And on the Saturday Night – not just in Sudbury, but across Canada, on the Saturday Night following his death, 37 Corus radio stations played “The Hockey Song” as a tribute to Stompin’ Tom.

The irony here of course, is that during his lifetime, Stompin’ Tom struggled to get ANY radio stations to play his songs.

In spite of the obvious advantages that Stompin’ Tom Connors would have enjoyed, he refused to go to Nashville or live in the United States simply to increase his exposure and ultimately his wealth.

Instead, Stompin’ Tom Connors chose to live life on the road as he ventured across Canada performing and selling the bulk of his albums out of the back of his truck or the trunk of his car.

So it’s not surprising that the 4 million copies of these 48 albums that Stompin’ Tom sold may pale in comparison to the total quantity of any of these same artists.

But at the same time, it’s a testament to the dedication of Stompin’ Tom Connors as an artist and his patriotism as a true Canadian.

Stompin’ Tom Connors returned his Juno Awards in 1978 as a protest to the artists that conducted most of their business in the U.S. but were still eligible to win Juno Awards in Canada.

And the same radio stations that refused to play Stompin’ Tom Connors songs when he was alive are now playing Stompin’ Tom Connors songs as a tribute to this true Canadian to capitalise on the commercial benefits of the news of the passing of Stompin’Tom Connors.

To these radio stations, on behalf of Stompin’ Tom Connors I say, “Fuck YOU!”

Except I don’t have the right to speak on behalf of Stompin’ Tom Connors.

And I’m quite sure that Stompin’ Tom Connors would be too much of a gentleman to publicly express that sentiment.

So this is just from me. “Fuck YOU anyway!”

- 30 -

Surely to goodness they (politicians) must be good for something? And the answer is… not much. But there are a few things, if they weren’t politicking a goodly number of them would be actively lawyering… – Brian Henderson, 1050 CHUM

Former MP Helena Guergis recently admitted she is stupid.
Well – we all knew that already didn’t we?

But it appears now that Guergis herself has come to terms with that.

Almost 3 years ago, Helena Guergis resigned (read was fired) from cabinet and left the Conservative Party amid serious allegations regarding her conduct. (Many of which had long been public knowledge.)

And while the RCMP could find no evidence of criminal wrongdoing (at least not enough to charge Guergis) Mary Dawson, the Ethics Commissioner ruled against the Guergis’ Conflict of Interest allegations. (This was not the first time Dawson had ruled against Guergis for improper conduct.)

After a failed attempt to run as an Independent Conservative the disgraced Guergis fled town and moved to her husband Rahim Jaffer’s former riding of Edmonton, Alberta where he had been similarly disgraced in 2008.

In Edmonton Guergis enrolled at the University of Alberta to study law.

(God help her future clients!)

Recently quoted on Simcoe.com in an interview email with The Connection, Guergis was quoted as saying, “I am enjoying the challenge. My student colleagues are the best and the brightest, as are the faculty members.”

My personal interpretation of that would be “Everyone there is smart but me. I’m stupid.”

But then I know Helena on a more personal level so perhaps I am drawing on more than just this statement to come to that conclusion.

And if I’m jumping to conclusions… well it wasn’t much more than a hopscotch-jump to get there.

- 30 -

- jim young

In a capitalist society, the price of most items is determined by the laws of supply and demand.

The supplier wants to sell any given item at the highest possible price to maximize profits.

But if the price is too high there will be no demand.

So to a great extent one could say the “sell price is largely determined by the customer”.

In most cases the relationship between a supplier and customer is one-to-one.

But when it comes to some essential items such as medical provisions or prescriptions, determining who the customer really is becomes somewhat more complicated.

Recently I had to purchase a new set of hearing aids.

The supplier, the hearing aid company, has to deal with not one but, 3 customers – the Ontario Government who subsidizes the cost of my hearing aids through our provincial health care, my insurance company which will also pay a portion of the cost and the end user – me.

The hearing aids I require are on sale at $1,500 off.

The Ontario Government will pay $1,000 towards my hearing aids.

My insurance company will kick in another $1,000.

So the total cost to me is just $1,000.

I guess I should consider myself lucky that I only have to pay $1,000 for a pair of hearing aids that allegedly, are worth $4,500.

Instead – I feel like I’m being taken advantage of and I don’t know why the Ontario Government and my Insurance Company are not likewise outraged.

I can’t believe the electronics involved in a pair of hearing aids can be that much more sophisticated than an iPod that I might spend $200 on. (The iPod also has many visual graphics that my hearing aids do not.)

I can appreciate there are research costs (although Apple too has research costs), the wages of medical technicians involved (although Apple too has some pretty high-tech experts on staff) and programming to my specific needs that are all included in the price of hearing aids.

But I still can’t help but believe that $4,500 for the price of Hearing Aids is more than a bit excessive.

I think the very fact that they are offered at $1,500 off, supports my theory.

Anything that can be sold at $1,500 off without bankrupting the seller is grossly overpriced from the start.

As a customer I should complain – but to who?

Just as the hearing aid company has to contend with 3 customers, I too have 3 suppliers to contend with.

As a taxpayer I am effectively a customer of the Ontario Government who is supposed to be operating on my behalf.

Whether or not I pay the premiums directly or my employer pays them on my behalf as a benefit for my employment, the bottom line is that makes me the insurance company’s customer as well.

I should really be in the driver’s seat here and yet I seem to be at the mercy of all three.

Why doesn’t the insurance company complain about the outrageous prices? Wouldn’t it also be in their best interest to have to pay less?

Instead, they seem content to pass these costs onto their customer (me) through premium rates.

Why doesn’t the Ontario Government complain about the outrageous prices? Wouldn’t it also be in their best interest to have to pay less?

We need only look at the inefficient bureaucracy of any government run organization to realize they aren’t really that concerned with costs. It is easier instead for them to just pass these costs onto their customer (me again) as well.

While it may appear that the insurance company and the government are chipping in to help me with the cost of my hearing aids all they are really doing is putting the money in my front pocket while taking it out of my back pocket.

If they were doing their jobs, the laws of supply and demand would dictate a much lower market price for hearing aids.

To be fair, let’s suppose a good pair of hearing aids, costs twice the price of a $200 iPod – $400.

And they’re not on sale – the total cost is $400. (That’s a far cry from $4,500!)

The government could subsidize just $150 for the hearing aids and save themselves $850. These savings could be passed onto the government’s customers by lowering taxes.

The insurance company could pay another $150 and likewise benefit from an $850 savings. Their savings could be passed onto their customers in the form of lower premiums.

And of course I would benefit as well with substantial savings of $900.

(And with all that extra money to spend I could go out and buy an iPod for each of my grandchildren thereby boosting the economy which benefits everyone.)

Unfortunately the hearing aid company has no incentive to reduce their prices to a more realistic level as long as their 3 customers are content with the status quo.

If Apple wants to sell more iPods – all they have to do is lower their price and their market grows exponentially.

People that don’t have iPods will buy them. People that do have iPods will buy new ones.

But if the hearing aid company lowers their price – there is not going to be a sudden influx in the demand for hearing aids.

At any given time there is a finite number of people that are in the market for hearing aids and that is not going to change just because the price of hearing aids drops.

And because it’s an essential commodity, the hearing aid company knows they have me caught between a rock and a hard place.

They are also aware that (unlike me) most people are not going to complain. The average person will accept these outrageous prices in the belief that the government and the insurance company are footling the bulk of the bill.

They have been duped into thinking they are getting a great deal.

I am not suggesting that the hearing aid companies should not be permitted to make a “fair” profit but it seems to me that gouging people that are at their mercy for essential items required to improve their quality of life is not morally acceptable.

Maybe I should forget the hearing aids altogether and just purchase an iPod for myself.

I’d rather listen to my music than hear what most people have to say anyway.

- 30 -

(Read this entire article to discover how you can get ½ pound of FREE Chicken Wings)

There are only 2 reasons you would want to visit the Royal Victoria Hospital in Barrie.

Neither of them is good.

But if you HAVE to visit the RVH, it’s probably better that you are going to visit a loved one that is sick or injured rather than you being the sick or injured one.

Not that either you or I would wish any illness or injury on any of our loved ones.

But, really – with the possible exception of our children who we would literally take a bullet for – let’s be honest.

We’re all secretly rooting for the OTHER guy to be the sick or injured one.

But if you HAVE to visit the RVH – in addition to visiting your sick or injured loved one (and possibly even if you are the sick or injured loved one) there’s one place at the RVH that you won’t want to miss – the RVH Food Court.

Here you’ll find a true smorgasbord of all time favourites such as Tim Hortons, Subway, Jugo Juice, Druxy’s Fresh Deli Revolution and the RVH Auxiliary Café Royale.

Each offers their own quality niche and all are very good, but the one place that takes the cake (one of the few items not offered on their menu) is Panzerotto Pizza and Wing Machine.

Where else can you go, especially in a hospital, to get Pizza and Wings, AND a wide range of Burgers, AND Pasta AND Soup AND Salads AND Panzerotto AND Sandwiches AND Side orders of Garlic Bread, Onion Rings or French Fries AND Chicken Fingers AND Ribs AND Dessert? (Except for cake as previously noted.)

But wait – there’s more!

All this and you can ALSO get HOMEMADE Breakfast!

Just how cool is that? All in one convenient place.

I can’t tell you that Panzerotto Pizza and Wing Machine makes the best chicken wings in Barrie.

Sorry guys – but “Buffalo Wild Wings” still takes the proverbial cake in that area. (And they don’t serve cake either.)

But I will say this – “the wings at Panzerotto Pizza and Wing Machine at the RVH are still pretty damn good and certainly the best to be found on this end of town.”

And that’s not too shabby when it comes to hospital food.

Could we dare expect good customer service too?

After a recent visit to our injured loved one we stopped by Panzerotto Pizza and Wing Machine for an order of chicken wings. When offered to upgrade to the combo package, we opted for onion rings.

It wasn’t until we had left the RVH that we realised we had been charged full price for the onion rings instead of the combo package.

The $2 to $3 difference was not enough to entice us to return for a refund.

However, following a subsequent visit when asked if I wanted to upgrade my wings to a combo, I casually mentioned to my server (a different server) of the previous night’s oversight.

And while I was content to receive just his apology, I was more than pleased, when our order was ready, to receive a complimentary order of french fries to compensate for the previous night’s overcharge.

I have always said any company should not be judged on their mistakes, but on how they handle their mistakes.

Panzerotto Pizza and Wing Machine proved they are a company that deserves recognition for not only their great food but also providing great customer service.

Do yourself a favour. If you HAVE to visit the RVH in Barrie anyway – make it a worthwhile trip and stop by Panzerotto Pizza and Wing Machine. You won’t regret it.

You might want to visit them even if you don’t have to visit the RVH.

Now, as promised – here is how you can get your ½ pound of FREE Chicken Wings.

Parking in the RVH parking lot will cost you $9 for just a 90-minute visit to your loved one.

Instead of parking there – drive to the nearby Quarry Ridge Road.

There is no parking on the first portion of the street but a little further down the road you can park for free.

From there it’s just a short walk to the RVH Entrance.

½ pound of Wings at Panzerotto Pizza and Wing Machine will set you back $6.99 but as you’ve saved $9 in parking – you’re ahead of the game by $2.01.

It’s like being paid to buy ½ pound of wings!

And as an added bonus – the walk will do you good and help burn off some of those calories you’re going to take in.

And unless your loved one is on a specific medical diet – you might want to share your wings with them too.

- 30 -

Unlike many people I don’t really have a problem with teachers getting the summer off and enjoying the benefits such as extended holidays at Christmas and Easter.

Let’s face it. These are just a few perks of the job.

Look at it this way. Teachers are paid for a 10-month term and then choose to have the pay they earn for the ten-month period paid out in smaller increments for a 12-month period.

So although teachers appear to be paid for 12 months when they only work 10 months – it’s really just a matter of budgeting.

If you dispute the AMOUNT they are paid for their 10-month term – well that’s a totally different issue.

But let’s stop the ridiculous argument that teachers get paid for taking summers off.

And if it’s still a big issue for you – get a job as a teacher or shut the fuck up about it!

The reciprocal to this is that teachers should quite whining about the so-called “after hours” work they have to undertake preparing lessons, marking tests and participating in extra-curricular activities.

Like any salary position – unpaid overtime is a reasonable expectation.

It comes with the territory.

If teachers don’t like those conditions they shouldn’t have become teachers.

Both of the above complaints are akin to someone taking a job in the service industry and then complaining they have to work weekends and evenings.

But when teachers go on strike whether it’s a full-fledged walk out or rotating strikes – they’ll get no sympathy from me.

Why should teachers (or anyone that gets paid by the public) expect pay raises and benefits that are far beyond the raises and benefits being paid to the public sector?

At our company – as well as many others in the public sector, simple cost of living increases have been non-existent for over 5 years.

Our benefits are being decreased annually.

So while I continue to effectively earn less money each year, why would I support any group that tries to increase their standard of living at MY expense through increased tax dollars?

But to add insult to injury – teachers in Ontario are set to participate in an illegal strike situation tomorrow.

They’re not calling it a strike though. It’s a political protest. (A rose by any other name…)

So let’s step back for a minute to the point I made about expectations of any given job.

Like it or not – when any teacher accepts his or her teaching assignment, there’s an expectation that the teacher will set an example for his or her students.

And what kind of an example does this “Political Protest” set for the students of Ontario?

Are the teachers trying to show students how to react when “they don’t get their own way”?

Is participating in an illegal strike teaching their students how to “follow the rules”?

If the teachers feel that Dalton McGinty and his government’s decision to impose contracts is illegal, why don’t they follow proper procedures and let their union lawyers fight it out in court?

Instead the teachers’ union has suggested that if necessary, they will pay fines of up to $2,000 per teacher for those participating in the illegal strike.

If the union is offering a payment for teachers to participate in an illegal strike should they not be charged with solicitation?

The teachers call it a “Political Protest”.

McGinty calls it an “Illegal Strike”.

I call it “Blackmail”.

I don’t know about you – but I don’t like to be blackmailed.

- 30 -

- jim young

A few years ago I wrote an article criticising Dick Clark’s hosting of the Times Square New Year’s Eve Celebrations – “Say Goodnight, Dick”

And I still stand by that opinion. As Kurt Cobain (quoting Neil Young) once said, “It’s better to burn out, than fade away.”

Having said that, I think it was nice that Dick Clark, having passed away last April at the age of 82 was remembered this year at “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” with a special tribute.

It was a little sad that the tribute to Dick Clark, who was for so many years a cultural icon in the world of Rock ‘n Roll, was so brief and chopped up in what seemed to be an effort to just “fit it in”.

I suppose room had to be made for the likes of Justin Bieber and Jenny McCarthy and all the Weight Watchers plugs – all of which I could have lived without.

On the other hand – Dick Clark was NOT a musician or performer himself and the festivities did include some great performances from some really good contemporary artists such as Pitbull.

Pitbull’s performance of “Back In Time” which mixes soundclips from Mickey & Sylvia’s “Love is Strange” from the 1950s seemed a fitting tribute to Dick Clark who’s career reached back to over a half century ago.

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