Even I don't always agree with my opinion

 

God Is One Miserable Fuck

1
Posted February 4, 2012 by jim young in Politics

– jim young

God is one miserable fuck.

Yeah – I said that. So what?

If there’s a hell – I’m already going. And if there isn’t a hell, it doesn’t matter.

So I’ve got nothing to lose.

God is one miserable fuck.

What’s he gonna do, off me?

He could do that. And he’d probably make it look like an accident – like a car crash or something.

Or even if it were something as blatantly obvious as a bolt of lightning – everyone would still think it was an accident.

But now that this is out there on the Internet – who among you really believes that even god can retract this?

This is the freaking Internet, man. Once it’s out there, not even god can take it back.

So here are some of my thoughts on how badly god has fucked things up – in the beginning.

Let’s see. In the beginning there was darkness. Then god created light and separated the day from the night.

Then he created all the creatures on the earth and in the skies.

After almost everything else was done, he created man from dust. And as I recall – not that I was there – didn’t he create man in his own image?

Gee – isn’t vanity one of the seven deadly sins? Well, pride is. Close enough.

After man, god created woman from man’s rib.

How am I doing so far? I didn’t Google any of this shit. I’m just going by memory of my Sunday School classes when I was a kid.

So far – except for the embarrassing display of vanity, who can argue that this was some pretty good shit that god did?

And in just 6 days.

So I’ll give credit where credit is due. And I don’t begrudge god for taking a day off after all that work.

But that’s where it all starts to fall apart.

God gave his creations – Adam and Eve and all the living creatures on earth the Garden of Eden – a paradise – to live in.

With just one tiny rule.

“Don’t eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.”

So here’s my problem.

The serpent tempted Eve with the some of this fruit. And then Eve tricked Adam into eating some too.

And then god displayed his second imperfection (remember the vanity thing?) when he showed a lack of patience and kicked everybody out of the pool.

Adam, Eve and all creatures were forevermore banished from the Garden of Eden.

Woman was cursed with pain in childbirth.

Man was sentenced to spend his days toiling to provide for his family.

The sins of the fathers would be passed onto his children and the serpent would now become the lowest of all creatures, forced to crawl on his belly.

What was god thinking?

The implication here that is pretty obvious is that the serpent, Adam and Eve had no concept of good or evil until they had eaten the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

So how did they even know what they were doing was wrong?

And if they didn’t know what they were doing was wrong – how could they be held accountable for their actions?

Even I, acting as their defense attorney could have won this case for them!

Adam and Eve and the serpent would have all been acquitted and we would all be back in paradise.

And as I said before – that was just the beginning.

– 30 –


One Comment


  1.  
    steve

    We all have heard god is all knowing, all feeling, blah,blah, blah, but he , if there were such a cat, strikes me as the biggest over-reactor ever. Eat that fruit and DIE!!!. Has he ever heard of a “time out”, stand in the corner til you right your ways, or even a spanking. Every once in a while I hear some raging lesbian claim god is a woman. Ya know what? I`m begining to think they`re right. Who else could fly off the handle at the slightest provocation like a woman, possibly a woman “on the rag”. Yeah, god`s a woman. Who else could make your life so miserable while all the while you have no fucking idea on what you did to make them so upset?
    P.S.- I googled that bullshit about eating the fruit and dying . He said, “lest you die” but with his track record I think we know which way he was leaning.





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