Even I don't always agree with my opinion


I Want To Be Keith Richards

Posted July 18, 2009 by jim young in Media

– jim young & Steve Greeley

Wyatt (Peter Fonda): “You ever want to be somebody else?”
Stranger (Jack Nicholson): “I’d like to try Porky Pig.”
    – Easy Rider

I want to be Keith Richards. Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing really wrong with my life that I would change one nano-second of.

But if I did, I would want to be Keith Richards.

I could be greedy and ask to be Mick Jagger or Ron Wood.

I certainly don’t want to be Charlie Watts who’s hated doing his thing for the last 30 years.

No – I want to be Keith Richards.

I want the fucking speed he does. Not the drug “speed” so much as just the “speed of life” that is quintessentially Keith Richards.

The man just won’t fucking die. He’s the epitome of those other corpses from “Night Of The Fucking Living Dead”!

I want to defy just about everything the World Health Organization has ever said; everything that would cause your doctor to be aghast if you just mentioned your lifestyle to him; everything that science holds sacred.

That Keith Richards is still alive has gotta be embarrassing to Brian Jones. It was bad enough to get kicked out of his own band – but to buy the farm from a drug overdose at such an early age while Keith is still walking around…

Who else but Keith Richards could survive a head injury that required cranial surgery after falling out of a tree at the age of 63?

And who else but Keith Richards would be climbing a fucking tree at 63 in the first place?

Squeaky-clean “SIR” Paul McCartney spent time in jail in Japan for possession of marijuana but drug addict Keith Richards, facing up to 7 years in jail for trafficking heroin in Canada, walked away a free man.

Instead Richards was ordered to perform at a free concert for the blind.

Hey – if I ever get arrested for possession of any contraband substance (not that I am ever in possession of a contraband substance), I would gladly write a 500-word essay for the deaf in lieu of prison time. (Since the blind wouldn’t be able to read it anyway.)

But then my name isn’t Keith Richards.

Even if I want it to be.

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