Even I don't always agree with my opinion

 

Jehovah Witness or Mormon?

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Posted July 18, 2009 by jim young in Religion/Philosophy

– jim young

I know people that go to great lengths to avoid talking to the Jehovah Witnesses when they come by to call on them. Some just refuse to answer the door while others will answer the door naked just to scare them away.

Most recently a friend, when asked about his beliefs, told the JWs that he didn’t have beliefs because he was “not a dreamer” to which he added, “Don’t get me wrong, they’re all wonderful stories – but then again, so is Humpty Dumpty.” The JWs thanked him for his time and left.

Personally I have a lot of respect for the Jehovah Witnesses and their seemingly endless and earnest desire to save an old sinner like me.

Look at it this way. If my neighbour smelled gas and came running over to my house to get me out before the explosion, I would appreciate it – even if the Gas Company arrived to assure us there was no leak. And if this happened week after week, while I might get irritated with the false alarms – how could I get angry with my neighbour for his or her good intentions?

I think it’s basically the same with the Jehovah Witnesses.

Where are all the self-righteous Protestants, Anglicans and Catholics and why don’t they want to save me?

The other thing about the Jehovah Witnesses is – at least one of them is almost always a really hot chick.

I remember one time that 2 JWs came to my door to discuss our beliefs. They stood on the porch while I stood in the doorway. One was a drop-dead gorgeous chick and the other was a younger version of her.

Even when it started to rain, I did not invite them in, but neither did I turn them away. Unfortunately they chose to leave before their white dresses absorbed enough rain to become transparent.

I often wondered how a cute JW might react if I propositioned her.

Of course I would have to resist my carnal urges to avoid any legal charges, but there should certainly be nothing wrong with making an “innocent” proposition. I could suggest “If you go out with me on Saturday night so we can discuss this more, I will happily join you in church on Sunday morning.”

Whether or not I got lucky on Saturday night would determine whether or not I would be in church on Sunday.

If I got lucky on Saturday night – there would be no reason to be in church the next day. However if I struck out I would have to decide if it was worth my time to attend church on Sunday in the hopes of getting lucky the following Saturday night.

But have you ever noticed the Mormons never send their women out? It’s only ever guys that come to save me.

I think that’s just being greedy don’t you?

All those wives and they’re not willing to share even a couple of them?

I figure they really aren’t as sincere in saving me as the Jehovah Witnesses are.

Or maybe the Jehovah Witnesses are just trying to tempt me into being lustful so I will end up in hell.

The bastards!

– 30 –


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