Even I don't always agree with my opinion


Sex In The Backyard

Posted September 23, 2013 by jim young in Lifestyle

– jim young

“Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, Let’s do it…” – Cole Porter

The fall breeze gently blows the flowers of the mint in my garden from side to side even if it’s not enough to cause the wind chimes to ring out.

So it’s a quiet autumn afternoon as I puff on a Cuban cigar and sip my mojito.

I realise there will not be too many more days such as this for the remainder of the year.

But god-willing there’s always next year to pick up where I left off.

And that’s okay.

I live in the moment.

At least I do when the moments are pleasurable.

Who wants to live in the moment of the shitty days anyway?

So for now, I sit quietly and witness a small bee travel from flower to flower on my mint. Bees seem to be have been scarce the last couple of years so we have been happy to welcome them to our garden this year.

As I watch this bee, my mind wanders to sex.

Hell – it’s been 7 seconds and I’m just a man.

But it’s not my fault. When you think about it – there’s a live porno being orchestrated right before my eyes.

And what’s more exciting than live sex in the great outdoors?

There are male plants in my backyard and there are female plants and by some unknown wisdom of our creator – never the twain shall meet.

So the bee pollinates (fucks them if you will) the delicate virgin flowers to ensure they are able to procreate.

It’s a threesome in nature – the cuckolded male plant witnessing the bee, serving as a bull, and the submissive female plant accepting the bee/bull’s seed.

You can’t really blame the bee. What with all those male bees in the hive and only one queen – he has to get his jollies somewhere.

I have one last puff on my cigar (Hey – even Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar’s just a cigar!”), a final sip of my mojito and it’s time to retire for the night, full of expectations.

Yet, somehow my wife has not been as moved by the eroticism that we were just witness to.

Perhaps she just doesn’t share my voyeuristic tendencies.

– 30 –


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