Even I don't always agree with my opinion

 

Taking The CRAP Out Of CPAP

2
Posted August 15, 2011 by jim young in Lifestyle

–  jim young

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. — Anthony Burgess

I sleep with a CPAP machine.

In addition to my wife that is.

For those of you that don’t know what a CPAP machine is, CPAP is an acronym for Continuous Positive Air Pressure. It’s used to help people who suffer from sleep apnea to get a good night’s sleep.

Sleep apnea is caused when the muscles in the neck relax too much and restrict airflow to the lungs causing the sleeper to awaken and gasp for air.

People who snore always fall asleep first. – anon

And as chronic snoring is often a symptom of sleep apnea the CPAP machine helps the partner of one who suffers from sleep apnea to get a good night’s sleep as well.

But even more than just an aid to sleeping, the CPAP machine can be a matter of life or death for one who suffers from serious sleep apnea.

After spending a night in a sleep clinic, it was determined that my sleep efficiency was reduced to 80% caused from 56 separate awakenings in a 5 hour period.

And as a result of my snoring, most nights my wife and I slept in separate rooms.

During the day it was not uncommon for me to fall asleep in meetings, at my computer at work or at home and quite regularly while waiting for a red light to turn green. I seldom saw a movie from beginning to end in one sitting.

Despite all the benefits, for the most part I still hate my CPAP machine. I just don’t like the feeling of being hooked up to what essentially is a life support system every time I go to bed.

Having said that however, I have to admit that for the first few weeks after getting my CPAP machine, I actually looked forward to bedtime as I knew I would be rewarded with a good night’s rest.

It’s also nice that my wife is now able to spend the entire night in bed with me. She no longer goes running to the couch with her pillow and blanket in the middle of the night for a little peace and quiet.

And my dreams have returned too. Anyone that suffers from sleep apnea will likely tell you they don’t dream much. That’s because they seldom fall into a deep enough sleep to reach the REM stage of sleep. But once they start using a CPAP machine, the dreams come back.

I will likely have to use a CPAP machine for the rest of my life. Taking it with me when we are spending the night away from home is always inconvenient and finding an alternate power supply when we go camping is a pain in the ass, but what are you gonna do?

So on a more positive note for anyone that may have to use one in the future, I’ve tried to list some of the good things about using a CPAP machine.

  1. You get a better night’s sleep.
  2. You have more dreams.
  3. You’re less apt to die in your sleep.
  4. Your wife stops sleeping on the couch, (except when you piss her off. Some things never change.)
  5. You don’t fall asleep in meetings, while driving or worse, when your wife is talking to you.
  6. With the CPAP mask you can do great impressions of Darth Vader or an F-18 Fighter pilot for your children or grandchildren.
  7. You can still breathe when you pull the sheets over your head to keep mosquitoes at bay on hot summer nights.
  8. You can put Vodka in the humidifier of your CPAP to get drunk while you sleep. (Warning: this may cause severe morning headaches.)
  9. When you pass gas it gets filtered before you smell it. (However this may lead back to your wife sleeping on the couch.)
  10. When you have a fight with your wife you can score the bed by telling your wife there’s no empty socket near the couch to operate your CPAP machine.

Sweet dreams to all and don’t let the bed bugs bite.

– 30 –


2 Comments


  1.  
    Steve

    I don`t trust much related to treatment or medicine . Drug companies spend billions advertising their ” deep concern ” for my heath so they can make hundreds of billions on their product. They ‘grease” doctors to push their product to add even more money to their coffers. One thing I DO believe in is the CPAP machine. The first four days I “wore” mine I got up feeling like an 8 year old again, fully refreshed. The fifth night, last night, the mask became loose and I didn`t enjoy the effect of the machine. This morning I felt like an 80 year old again. I believe anyone suffering from apnea is foolish not to invest in one of these machines. I had a friend , Norm, who died from apnea. I`ll bet if I could talk to him now he would tell me apnea was not a bad way to go, just a tad premature.




  2.  
    Anonymous

    Really, you won’t sleep at all with this crap stuck to your face….





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