Even I don't always agree with my opinion


WANTED: Healthy, Young Heart In Good Working Order

Posted November 13, 2008 by jim young in Lifestyle

– jim young

Where do you go to apply for a heart transplant?

I think it would be in my best interests to have one now.

I mean why wait until the last minute? I want to be proactive.

Let’s face it. I am hardly a picture of health. I accept responsibility for that. I cannot deny that my lifestyle is not particularly healthy. That’s been my choice.

But I am sure my 55 year old heart is being overworked and at some point, if something else doesn’t get me first – it’s going to give out.

When a heart transplant becomes necessary, it won’t be under ideal circumstances. Consider the following:

1) First of all I’d have to be lucky enough to even survive the heart attack. There are no guarantees there, so the best option for me would be to avoid a heart attack by replacing my tired, worn out heart with a younger, healthier one now.

2) If I do survive a heart attack and the doctors determine a heart transplant is necessary, my body will already be weakened and I may not even be healthy enough to undergo the required surgery.

3) Assuming those obstacles have been overcome, I would be put on a waiting list for an acceptable donor to be found and I would have to take the first one that comes along. My new heart might even come from someone my age that wasn’t in much better shape that I am now.

4) Then, in my weakened condition – there would be a greater chance that my body might reject the donor’s heart.

But if I choose to replace my current heart with a new, improved model now, I will have time on my side and can afford to wait until the right one comes along.

It’s kind of like buying a new car before the old one dies. When your old car has completely given up you’re under a lot of pressure to get something, anything. But when you have the luxury of time you can negotiate a better deal.

So I’ll just wait until some 20 year old that has my blood type is killed in a car accident. Hey – I don’t even care if he’s a drug addict, a criminal or even mentally unstable – as long as his heart is still in good working order.

I figure that’ll give me another 20 or 30 years before I even have to start thinking about my heart again.

Now I know what a lot of you are going to be saying. “Why should I be entitled to a new heart when I haven’t taken proper care of the one I have?”

Well – it’s not like my heart is completely useless. There’s still some life left in it. If it can pump the hardening fat clogging, cholesterol filled blood through my body – think what it can do for someone else that DOES look after himself.

I’ll happily let it go to another heart attack victim in exchange for the one I’m getting. So there’s no less hearts available for donors on the market.

Sure – he might not get as good a heart as I’m getting. But then he shouldn’t have waited until the last minute.

– 30 –



    Maybe you just need a new body then your current heart won’t have to work so hard. Why don’t you want to fix the heart you have? It’s not beyond repair. Are you afraid if do all the things you need to do to fix it, something else might get you and then you’ll have wasted all of that effort?


    There’s nothing wrong with my body. Unlike a girl who thinks she has to compete with every other girl in the world – I’m happy with my body just the way it is thank you very much.

    Look at it this way.

    Think of my body as being like a Ford Aerostar. Sure – it’s not as sleek and sexy as a Mustang or ‘Vette. But it fits in my garage very nicely. (He said knowingly. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say no more, say no more.)

    The Aerostar has the body of a van built on a car chassis that was never really intended to pull a lot of weight.

    So over the years, I’ve added a trailer hitch and now I’m pulling my camper – even more weight – all over the province.

    Yeah – I admit it – I’ve abused my vehicle. That was my choice. But I’ve kinda grown attached to my Aerostar and I want to keep it on the road for a few more years. (And I want to keep parking it in my garage every night.)

    So now I know the transmission is gonna blow soon.

    Do I wait for it to break down on the side of the highway when I’m on my way home from Disneyland? I’m thinking – No – I’d like to park my van in my garage one more time. (That’s just the way guys think.)

    So here I am on the side of the road at the mercy of the first mechanic I can find to get me back on the road. I have to pay big bucks and I don’t even have the time to check out his credentials. For all I know he’s failed mechanics school and every transmission he’s ever fixed has failed shortly after.

    Sure I can have my transmission rebuilt. But then all I have is an overworked transmission with a few new (or maybe even used) parts. Maybe some of those replaced parts are gonna break down too. Or maybe some of the parts I didn’t have replaced are going to go next.

    I’d like to go to the manufacturer and get a new and original transmission – but they don’t make them anymore.

    So wouldn’t it be smarter for me to get the transmission from another Aerostar whose body was wrecked in an unfortunate accident but the transmission is still in good shape? A transmission that is much newer than mine and has never pulled any trailers.

    That’s all I’m asking for.

    Because when it comes right down to it. I want to keep pulling my van in and out of my garage for a long, long time.


    Well.. there’s always the possibility that your transmission will go right when your pulling your Aerostar in and out of the garage. But that would probably be OK with you too.

    What you’re really saying is you have no intention of changing your lifestyle to improve your longevity. Don’t you want to park your mini van for as long as you can? You know you can’t choose a new transmission in advance!


    You bet. What a better place to have your transmission die than right when you’re coming in your garage.

    Change my lifestyle? Give your head a shake. That’s the whole point. I’m looking for a good compromise that will allow me to live the lifestyle I have chosen with the greatest longevity that I can get.

    Life is all about compromise and I’m just trying to think outside the box.

    By the way – I don’t appreciate your reference to my van being a “mini” van. My van is a pretty tight fit in my garage, my friend.

Leave a Response